So. This is a written rant.  Yes, I have done this before, and no, i haven't uploaded many of them.  The reason I'm uploading this one is rather special: it is about love.

No, not complaining about ti.  Keep reading.  The fact is, it's more like rejoicing.  Finding a person you can truly love is not easy.

Her name... well, I'm not allowed to say her real name.  She wishes to simply be known as Dess.  Those of you paying attention to my deviantART might recognize her as the girl who wrote the Emma Goldman essay/script.  Yes, it's the same person.  Yes, I'm going out with her.  And yes, she's a girl, Kyle.

This rant is about her.  No, not a bad rant.  A good one.  A magnificent, joyous, "ecstastic" one.

She is basically one of the most wonderful people in the world.  She's beautiful, funny (most of the time >.>), kind, loving, intelligent, sensitive...  I'm going to run out of adjectives.  She's not perfect, but good god, I'm less perfect than she is.

Maybe I should start with how we met.  We met at school.  Technically after school hours, but it was at the school itself.  We basically became friends instantly.  Good friends.  Though she may be 3 grades and two years younger than me (I'll touch on that later), we stuck together like siblings.  We were in an after-school program, so we got to see a lot of each other.  We talked when we could.  There was an insane amount of trust in the relationship from the start, which could only grow bigger.  In real life and online, we talked to each other a lot, argued, debated, fought, joked.  I must say, we fought a lot.  she calls it "sexual tension" now, I think of it more like "we both had bad days, we both know we can take it out on each other, and we both know neither of us will take it too personally."  Our fights and arguments brought our closer, in my opinion, even if it meant us not talking to each other for a while.  But enough of our fights.  We quickly became great friends, at least in my opinion.  I always stayed a slight distance away, relationship-wise, as I always do with close friends that I liked.  Yes, I admit I was always interested in her, but I stayed out of it.  Why, you may ask?  Well, I have one commandment of relationships in my life, amongst others: I will do as you do.  You are fine with being just friends?  So shall I be.  You fine with hanging around with me after school?  Fine with me.  You like me enough to be in a relationship?  After making sure you're not sending false signals, so am I.  Usually, at least, but that's another story.

You fine with such-and-such a thing in a relationship?  So am I (Dess: ;) ).  I'm never one to push any boundaries, to do something you don't like.

As one person put it, I'd make a good "submissive."

Ah-ah-anyways.  I love my friends too much to do anything that they don't like, that would cross boundaries.

Ah, boundaries.  We've talked about boundaries a lot.  And I mean a LOT.  Boundaries for her, boundaries for me.  One of my greatest fears right now *Laughs at some little ants, then unconsciously steps way.* is crossing a boundary.  Dess says she'd politely tell me if I ever did so, but still...  The last thing I need to do right now is lose the best thing that ever happened to me.  I worry a helluva lot for her, so sue me.  I love her.  I don't want to hurt her, in any way, shape, or form.  At all, ever...  So I worry.

Age.  Seriously, if you don't like great age differences in young relationships, go format your hard drive.  Yes, she's a bit over 2 years younger than me.  I always thought that older guys going out with younger girls was... suspect, at least.  To an extent, I still do now.  But really, the age difference is next to meaningless right now.  I act immature sometimes, she's more mature than most of the class of 2008.  I see nothing.  We balance each other out, usually.  We can be both serious.  A lot of the time we are.  Then again, we can both be immature, but by then, I really don't think we care much of what others think about us.

Being around her is probably one of the most pleasant feelings i will ever have in my lifetime.  The feeling of someone there, next to me, is unbearable at times.  for the last 7 years I've needed somebody to be there for me, both emotionally and physically.  Not as much recently, but still, I've needed somebody and nobody was there.  Now there is someone.  It might be too late to change the past, but as I come to college, I think that need will flare up again, and I can thank whatever deity there is that there is somebody there for me.

Now. College doesn't last forever.  People grow up.  People.... move on. in two years time I will (hopefully) be out of community college and (hopefully) on my way to a four-year school, for aerospace engineering.  By that time...  who knows where we'll be.  We could hate each other's guts, we could still be helplessly obsessed with each other as we are today.  Hopefully the latter, but...  What will happen, when and if we separate?  It's nigh inevitable.  We.... I hate to think what will happen if we are forcibly separated.  I fear that day.

But for now...  I'm in love.  I love you, Dess.  So much...  When I say words cannot describe it, I mean it.  This?  This is just ranting.  It doesn't begin to say how I feel for you.  Nothing can.  I can only hope that you understand.

All good things must come to an end.  I must stop ranting eventually.

Peace out, Loungers.

-Atreus